So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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