Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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