is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
