So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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