Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
