he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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