just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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