Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
