why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
