I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
