How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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