just come out here and I will go home with you...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
