I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
