My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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