they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
