Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
