Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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