I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
