he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
