we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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