i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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