I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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