I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
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