Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
