some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
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