my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
