I showed him my bush... on skype.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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