margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
