you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
