what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
