The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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