O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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