i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
