How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
so much tequila, so little girl.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
