I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
