you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
