just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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