i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
