need another drink. this is the easiest way
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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