Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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