I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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