Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
