why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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