i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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