just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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