you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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