Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
