miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
