Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
