never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I woke up under a house in Key West
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
